Not living for goose bumps.

I'm not sure if it's my age or my experiences, but moments that would normally rip my emotions to shreds, have very little effect on me anymore.  Perhaps there were too many years of emotional roller coasters, and that I simply "got off the ride".

Don't get me wrong, I still laugh and I still cry, but it has changed.  And depending on when and where this hits, it can make me a bit uncomfortable.  Funerals, births, award assemblies and such can make me a bit nervous when I think I need a little more obvious emotion spilling out, but I just try to look dignified and controlled and go on.

I told you that story to tell you this one.  I have realized that this is a good thing when it comes to my spirituality, my prayerfullness, my ability to worship God and my relationship with Him.

Thankfully, I no longer depend on an emotional "whatever" to define my love for God.

I have always watch in awe that so many people can enter a "rapture like" state in church or in prayer.  I think we'd all agree that I'm not afraid of emotion, but wow!

I know that in the old days , us Catholics were called "The Frozen Choosen", (I don't think that was a compliment) but maybe there was a reason.  MAYBE we weren't a bunch of uptight, out of touch robots, MAYBE we were just comfortable sitting quietly and being in the presence of God!?  MAYBE we thought there was enough noise in the world, that at Mass it was time to shut our yaps and open our hearts!?

I know--freedom to be different--it takes all kinds---freedom to worship as you please---it goes on and on.  Don't mean to step on any toes.

What I do mean is--He is in my presence even when I am not.  He is at my side when I am preoccupied with dinner, where my children are, or if I brushed my teeth.  He is by my side when I am irritated in traffic, burned out at work and when I finally say "Help me Lord!".

I enjoy a good round of goosebumps as much as the next guy, but I am eternally grateful(and I mean that literally) that God knows me better than myself.  And that He and He alone will be my salvation.