Yesterday I filled out the biography part of this blog site and I made reference to "all my children". These wacky and wonderful folks are the topic of my blog today.
First of all I seem to have a knack to pick men with kids! And if you knew me back in my twenties, when the kid thing began, you would say, "Abolutely, positively, NO WAY!" The truth of the matter was that I was terrified of kids. They represented an innocent, truthful way of approaching the world that I simply was not or never had been in touch with. They wanted the REAL you. Well thats a little problem I've had my whole life(but I'm working on-it never too late). So, to say the least, kids made me uncormfortable!
Enter "The Burrough Trio"! So if your scared of kids, get three! Yeah, that will work. Actually it did. When Brian and his kids came into my life, frankly the amount of work for three children, 4 and under got my mind off of my silly hang-ups! But I was lost. First I tried to work it like they were a herd of something and that did not work! News flash--3 persons--3 personalities--3 different likes--3 different dislikes--3 different ways at looking at the world. OK this is better. I can do this.
Andy's the oldest and he was always trying to help me in monutenal ways---he carried more--he got on to the kids and he was very serious and compassionate about others. And he loved and still loves football. I knew I liked that kid! He and I were always honest with each other and that may be why to this day he is one of my favorite people. He doesn't live close to us so his visits are precious and fun. I love his hugs--real rib squishers!
Keith is the next Burrough kid in line and such a sweetie. Keith was the little wide-eyed, classic kid. He loved to play and look at bugs and watch cartoons. He was running buddy to Andy and best friend to little sister Pam. And when he came to live with us full time for a while, I had know idea what a wonderful gift I had been given. It truly afforded me the rare opportunity to get to know my step son in a different way. It was more than what he liked to eat. I saw him fight thru challenges in school, make new friends, become a teenager with a social life and even a couple of broken hearts from girlfriends. And when I needed him to help with his baby sister, he was always there making it fun for her. When you live with someone, you live with their successes and their failures, what a blessing. He lives on the east coast and we pray he makes his permanent home alot closer.
Pamela was the baby girl but she handled the boys with an iron fist--literally. Oh the stories I could tell--but I won't Pam! I never had to worried about her being victimized by the boys or anyone else. I met her when she was 18 months old and she could "hold her own" even at that age. Pam isn't just a surviver, she a champ. She makes the most of the situations in her life with a powerful determination. Whether its taking care of her Army husband, baby boy or plans for the future, Pam is up front with it all. But the sweetest memories of her was the time she spent close to my mother, the quiet side of Pam, learning from the older generation. She too is farther away than we would like.
So life goes on and I actually make a baby of my own--not by myself---thank you Brian! But I'll save her for last. Life has its twists and turns, ups and downs and looky there--another man with kids!!! Who'd a thunk it? Like the way I transitioned that? Men are another blog-yikes!
So here is this brown eyed girl in front of me with hair down to her waist and she's looking at me like---"ok who are you and whats this going to be like?" Amber LaVon has grown up before my eyes on a roller coaster ride that would leave most people weak in the knees. Situations and events in her life have been tough in many places but she is surrounded by love in every direction. Love WILL see you through. She fell in love with my baby the day they met, she is a fierce big sister to her and her younger brother, but she has a heart that is almost too soft for her own good. Almost---I wouldnt change it for the world. So she marries the best "good 'ol boy" that I've ever met and is ready to deliver our first grandbaby any day. If you stay the course, good things WILL happen, she's proof!
Michael came as a package with Amber. He was shy and unsure of himself and has challenges every day that we cannot imagine dealing with. But he has always been willing to try. His dad and I have worked tireously to give him any assistance he needs to make his way in the world, but his family makes the biggest difference. When he needed speech pathology years ago, we all loaded up and drove to Norman, girls at gymnastics, Mike at speech and dinner out! When Mike wanted to play Little League Football, we all loaded up, Amber with homework, Missy playing with friends and Dad and I even loading the dog up for practise. And OMG, the friends he made in football. We all had a blast. His sisters cut him no slack and thats what he needs. Whether its Amber keeping him in line or Missy making sure his outfit matches those girls have his back, they always have. Now he's in highschool, CRAZY about basketball (football was too hot!) and dying to get a job. Not exactly shy and unsure anymore, huh? The sky is the limit for Big Mike and we will support him wherever life takes him.
So along the way, I did add my own creation to this mix, Missy. I could write about her all day and probably will at some point. But today I'll narrow it down a bit! Not only is she the love of my life but I treasure my relationship with her each and everyday. I love to experience her life as she continues on. She's like me and she's not! And those similarities and differences make it a blast! I also love her individual relationships that she has with each sibling. They have their ups and down, fights and fun, but she deeply loves each of them in their unique way. She loves being the baby of the family but nobody babies Missy! Even when she was a baby! She is the most amazing person I've ever known and she cracks me up at least ten times a day. I am so grateful that because of her, I am bridged to all these other children in a strong and vital way. Hard to explain in words, but we are all linked together.
I've had people ask me how you can love children that are not your own biologically, and I tell them I really don't know for sure. I do know that I was adopted as a baby and was loved like I was their own and whether my children are step or "formally" step(I don't know the politically correct term) or biological, all children need love and acceptance. We just don't need to make it any harder than that.
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