Time off.

I dare say it may be a bit ambitious to think I can do this everyday, but for a while I think it would help to get the habit established!  I only have about a week and a half left with a cast on my leg after foot surgery.  The time has been filled much differently than I had expected.

I imagined weeks and weeks of emptiness with just my list of  "computer to-dos" to keep me busy.  Don't get me wrong, this has certainly been different and I have made a HUGE dent on the list(I alsways have a list).  But the first week I was sick(lingering from the surgery or viruses) and actually passed out from dehydration!  (OK --didn't plan on any of that)  Got it together just in time to attend a fabulous family wedding (thank you Jesus! Seriously!).  Then a couple days later I passed a kidney stone---yes I said kidney stone!  One minute I was having a great dinner with the family and an hour later my side felt like I had been hit by a mortar shell!  One quick trip to the ER, a couple of pain pills and I haven't felt a thing since.  OK--that was interesting.

But just when it looked like all was smoothing out, my mother-in-law passed away.  It wasn't like it was a surprise, we had all prayed for it.  Because as a family, along with many friends, we had learned that there are far worse fates than death.  She truly suffered those last few months and it was unbearable to watch.

It has felt so strange that I have not shed a tear since her death.  But I know that she and I shared many tears.  Somedays it was one of us or the other, but on several occasions it was both.  Given her medical conditions, I have no way of knowing if those tears were of a consoling nature or not but I do know that she and I, after all this time together felt comfortable enough to let our guard down.

Being the "second" daught-in-law, much farther down the road, I did not have the benefit of knowing this amazing woman in her prime.  But it was an honor and a true learning experience to be by her side for these last 5 years.  Strength and knowledge are bestowed on others in curious and silent ways.  It leads us down paths we do not know and cannot navigate easily. Thanks you Catherine for taking my bossy hand and teaching me to calmly care, nurture and maintain.